When IBCLC, birth doula and childbirth educator Micky Jones offered to send me her a copy of her recently published book, “Keep the Fires Burning: Conquering stress and burnout as a Mother-Baby Professional”, I admit I was under a bit of stress in my own life and unsure how I would add a book into the mix of internal drama I was facing. As it turned out, Micky’s book was exactly what I needed.

Micky has written a very valuable book for Mother-Baby Professionals in all stages of their career. It is also an important book for those who are considering entering this field, because it provides what many other resources do not – it discusses the reality of the work and the challenges that many birth professionals face.

“Keep the Fires Burning” is broken down into three parts:

Part I – A discussion of stress and how it is experienced by many Mother-Baby Professionals (MBP)

A brief history of birth politics is described, and the reader gets a glimpse of a MBP’s role within system and gains an understanding of the strain that can be felt while working within the medical paradigm of birth. Further in the chapter, Western cultural expectations and beliefs are explored, pointing to another source of potential stress in an MBP’s life. Finally, Micky sums up the chapter by providing a succinct list of characteristics that sum up what it’s like to be a Mother-Baby Professional. This list alone would be of great value to a new MBP or anyone considering entering this field.

Part II – Forms of stress, or the “Six Flames That Can Destroy Your Passion”

The next segment covers several forms of stress – those that could affect anyone, and specific sources of stress for the MBP. Micky describes six forms of stress as intensifying levels of heat, or the “Six Flames That Can Destroy Your Passion”. The six flames are Stress, Secondary Stress, Vicarious Trauma, Compassion Fatigue, Burnout, and Depression. She continues by scrutinizing empathy and how it plays a part in stress in the Mother-Baby Professional. Then, she considers personal experiences of an MBP and explains how one’s personal history could affect stress levels. A discussion of the stressors unique to MBP’s follows which includes more information about the work that they do and the environments in which they work.

Part III – Eliminating Stress and the Mother-Baby Professional’s Self-Care Plan

After discussing the Six Flames of Stress, the second half of the book is dedicated to “The Six Burn Busters” to eliminate it, along with a variety of specific suggestions, tips and methods that can form the basis of a self-care plan. The Burn Busters are broken down to address two primary areas – Who You Are and What You Do. The six Burn Busters include:

Who You Are:

• Spirit
• Mind
• Body

What You Do:

• Time
• Treasure
• Talent

Each Burn Buster is explored in depth and includes a description of each type of self-care, why it’s important to nurture, specific strategies, and the benefits that can be reaped from these suggestions. The final chapter includes a life inventory and personal self-care plan that you can create for yourself. The life inventory includes a list of questions that can help provide you with a more accurate picture of your home and work life. Once you know where you stand, you can create your self-plan using the prompts given in the book.

The end of the book includes Micky’s story – her struggle with stress and burnout, and what she did to overcome it and redesign her life. It’s inspirational and a powerful ending to an information-packed toolkit.

As a mom, life coach and business owner, my own personal development path was not unlike Micky’s. I’ve been on my own journey of self-discovery and healing for almost 10 years now. While I have practiced much of the self-care strategies that Micky teaches, what was most valuable to me was the validation I felt from reading about the Six Flames of stress and the section on empathy. I have experienced all six flames and let my empathic side get the best of me, and I can see how this led to my experience of burnout and depression. It also led me to realize that I was heading into that downward spiral again and needed to reprioritize and step up the self-care. Note: If you’ve noticed I haven’t been around very much, it was due to the much needed break I over the past six weeks!

If you work with expectant and new moms and babies, “Keep the Fires Burning” should be at the top of your Amazon list of books to buy! Seriously. Even if you’re not experiencing stress, the self-care tips and strategies are helpful. If you are experiencing stress, from mild stress to burnout, read it from cover to cover so you can create a self-care plan and regain control of your emotions, health and life.

Hale Publishing has published an excerpt of the book online, so go and check it out now. Then by all means, buy the book! If you purchase it in the month of September from Hale Publishing, you’ll receive a $3.00 discount. You’ll help not only yourself, but you’ll be helping your loved ones and the families you work with. You’re worth it, and I want you to be inspired to continue serving others in this profession.

Stay tuned for an announcement of an Inspired Birth Pro Twitter Party, where I’ll be gifting a copy of “Keep the Fires Burning” to a lucky participant.

These posts may also inspire you:

1. Stress + Six Weeks + One Book + One Fire = Gifts of Perspective
2. What’s Working and Not Working For You?
3. Baby Fair Success Tips for Birth Pros

Image by avrdreamer via Flickr

Last week I decided to revisit my values. The last time I did a values exercise, I was at a very different place in my life. I’ve grown a lot since then and was curious to see what has changed. Here are the steps I took:

1. I really like the comprehensive list of almost 400 adjectives that Steve Pavlina put together for such a task, so I copied and pasted the words into an excel spreadsheet and printed the list out.
2. I took a highlighter and quickly went through the list, marking each word that resonated with me. These 35 words described states of being or personality traits that I admire in others and either see or want to foster in myself.
3. I went through the list a second time with a pen and circled seven of the highlighted words. These words hold more meaning to me and represent more clearly what I’m about and what is important to me.
4. Finally, I carefully thought about each of the seven circled words. The question I asked myself was, “Which of these states of being must be part of my life in order for me to feel whole?”
5. The four words I chose are my core values. They sum up who I am today and how I want to live my life. I might not always be successful at living them, but I try to, every day.

After sitting with these words for a few days, I wanted to put them up somewhere I could see them every day, so I typed each value in a Word document, and my daughter helped me choose a font for each that gave personality to each one. We printed them out on bright, colorful paper and my daughter used some craft scissors to cut them out. I taped each of those on the wall, surrounding two vision boards that I look at every day. Happiness.

What ended up making this exercise a lot more meaningful is that my daughter wanted to choose her own values. So, I gave her the master list, and she went through the process, highlighting, circling and deciding which words meant the most to her. However, after telling me how much she liked all of her words and that there were too many to choose from, an idea occurred to me.

We went to Wordle, plugged in all of her words, played with the color and layout, and printed this out:

We had so much fun doing this that I had to make a Wordle myself:

What I loved about this exercise most was looking at our lists side by side. As I looked at the words my daughter chose, I got to see her in a brand new way, a colorful jumble of joy and fun.

As I look at my words, I can see how much I’ve grown. I turn 40 this year, and there has been a significant shift in how I see the world, what I want in life, and what I hold most dear. And now it’s in visual form. Really powerful.

Try this exercise, and do it with your kids if they feel compelled to join you.

These posts may also inspire you:

1. Article Content is Likely Right Under Your Nose
2. 5 Steps to Summer Sanity: Family Vision (Part 1)
3. Client Attraction Tip – Light Your Creative Spark

Image by Bohman via Flickr

Just as you and your family explored your collective vision for the summer, it would be equally valuable to create your vision for how your business will support you during the summer months. By focusing on your family’s vision first, you’ll be giving your personal values priority. This will help you put your business goals in perspective and integrate your business into your life rather than allowing your business to take over your life. You’ll be able to more easily allow your values to guide your business building and management decisions so you can honor yourself and your family during the summertime.

Take a look at what’s in your calendar right now. It’s likely that your summer schedule is already set with clients or classes. Maybe you would like a few more clients or students for the summer and know you have some work to do. Now, envision who you need to be for your business in order for you to give it the attention it needs this summer.

To start off, consider the following questions:

• How much time will I need to prepare for my scheduled commitments (ie: prenatal visits with doula clients, childbirth classes)
• What appointments can I get on the books now to make planning other activities easier?
• How much money do I want to make this summer?
• How much time will I need for marketing tasks and administrative work like invoicing and sending out emails?
• If you’re attending any conferences, what preparation is needed for that?
• If you have an active blog or social media accounts, how much time do you need to dedicate to those activities?
• How much time is necessary to plan for fall classes or clients?
• What self-care will you give yourself to help support you after attending a birth?
• What needs to be done throughout each day or week for you to feel caught up with your business so you can feel present for your family?
• Where will your children be when you work? Can they help you? Can they keep themselves occupied if they’re at home?
• How do you picture yourself carving enough time to devote to your business?

Are your values aligned with the vision for your business? If you’re not sure, check in with how you feel when you look at your business vision.

In Part 3, you will get to create your business and family goals for the summer months, so start thinking about them!

These posts may also inspire you:

1. 5 Steps to Summer Sanity: Family Vision (Part 1)
2. 5 Steps to Summer Sanity: Goal Setting (Part 3)
3. 5 Steps to Summer Sanity: Breaking It Down (Part 5)

Image by Nicholaus Haskins via Flickr

Summer is almost upon us, and soon my kids will be out of school. They each do a few camps each year, and we reserve the remaining weeks for lots of time for fun and relaxation. We may take a day trip to a neighboring town, get our book fix at the library, cool off at the pool, or hang out lazily at home with popsicles and a movie.

Each year, my biggest challenge has to do with setting boundaries for my work so I can make my family and my self-care a priority. In the crazy moments, what helps me is to return back to remembering the overall vision for how I want to be and feel when it comes to my family and business.

Every May, I spend time with the kids creating some intentions on how we want to spend our time, and this helps us develop a good rhythm over the course of the summer months. A vision for home and business life helps everyone set expectations, develop a few systems, and a big plus – we get along without much cabin fever or many squabbles. Over the next few days I’ll be sharing five steps that could help you create a great summer rhythm. The steps include:

1. Begin with your vision for summer with your family
2. Set your vision for what you want for your business this summer
3. Create your business and family goals for the summer months
4. Determine what systems need to be put in place
5. Break down your systems and goals with actionable tasks, and deadlines for implementation

Let’s get started with Step 1:

Just about everyone functions better with clear expectations and a predictable plan. Especially kids. One way to set expectations and shift gears into a feel-good summer rhythm is to invite the entire family to define a vision for summer. Ask each person to imagine what they want summer to be like:

• What does a typical day feel like?
• How much time can the kids expect to spend with you?
• What responsibilities will everyone have to help the house run smoothly?
• What are your favorite activities?
• Are you taking a trip or attending a conference?
• Will there be lots of free time with friends, or is it important to keep busy?
• What emotions are you feeling most of the time? Happiness? Freedom? Adventure? Ease?

Jot down notes, and make sure each family member is involved and heard. Then go through your list and come up with a picture of what your home life could look like over the next few months. Don’t be afraid to set boundaries. Your daughter may want to go to the pool every day and your son may want to have at least four sleepovers each week – what’s a more realistic number?

Most importantly, really pay attention to how you want to feel this summer. Think of ways to remind you of those feelings. It could be as simple as writing your desired feelings on a post-it note and put it at your desk or on your refrigerator. Some people write the words in their calendar. Others enjoy creating a vision board that serves as a visual reminder to them of how they want to be and what they want to do. Simply paste images and words that you find in magazines or online onto a poster board, and display it where you can see it. Kids really enjoy creating vision boards too!

By creating your vision, you are starting summer with the end in mind, and this will help guide your actions to create a fun summer with your family.

Stay tuned for next time, when I’ll talk about Step 2: Setting your vision for what you want for your business this summer.

These posts may also inspire you:

1. 5 Steps to Summer Sanity: Business Vision (Part 2)
2. 5 Steps to Summer Sanity: Goal Setting (Part 3)
3. 5 Steps to Summer Sanity: Breaking It Down (Part 5)

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I’ve been listening to audio recordings of brilliant coaches I’ve discovered over the past month. As I listen to these recordings, I jot down Powerful Questions that I hear. These shift-creating, perspective-changing questions not only help me serve my coaching clients more effectively. They have also had a profound impact on my business and personal life.

One Powerful Question I’d like to share with you is this:

What are you creating in your business for the sake of changing clients’ lives?

If you think of what you do with and for women as life changing and transformational, how does that make you feel, emotionally, mentally and physically?

Thinking about birth work in this way, does that make you sit up a little straighter, and feel a little prouder? Or, does it freak you out and intimidate you a little (or a lot)?

Today, I’d like you to sit with this thought…

–We serve women in birth and postpartum, as childbirth educators, as birth and postpartum doulas, as lactation consultants and midwives –

For the sake of changing their lives… to help women remember and access their power… to encourage others to trust in themselves, their bodies and their babies. What you do impacts many more people than just the one woman you are serving.

We are change agents and are playing an important role in changing today’s culture of birth, one woman at a time, one family at a time, and one baby at a time.

So…

I encourage you…

To own it.

What are you creating in your business for the sake of changing clients’ lives?

These posts may also inspire you:

1. Incorporating the Big Rocks Into Your Life
2. A Fun Way To Connect With Former Clients
3. Contraction Master iPhone Application for Clients or Yourself

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Money has an energy all its own, fluid and expansive. Take care of it and it will take care of you. Neglect it, abuse it, or hold onto it too tightly, and it hits the road.

I’ve seen how some practitioners in the healing and helping fields have difficulty with money… how they make it, keep it, and grow it. One’s relationship with money affects how much (or whether) that practitioner will charge for servicesand the opinions and judgments one practitioner has about one another around this topic.

Perceptions about money have wide-reaching effects. It affects the ability of practitioners to create a satisfying, self-sustaining living. It affects the perceived value that clients place on services. It affects the value of the profession as a whole.

I had a very enlightening conversation with a good friend the other day about her relationship with money. She set some time aside and reflected on her past relationship with money by:

1. Looking back and taking note of her observations of her parents’ relationship with money. What were their attitudes about money? Was there money or lack of it? What was said about money itself and the money that other people had or didn’t have?
2. Examining how those early experiences at home affected her outside of the home. What lens was she using to view money and its use around her? Was it coming from a place of lack or abundance?
3. Thinking about her own patterns of using money. Was it a repeat of what was observed and learned? Did she adopt patterns different from her early experiences with it?
4. Making note of other close relationships in her life, and how money played a part in them.

After this exercise, she decided to personify money:

1. Was Money male or female?
2. What does Money look like?
3. What is Money’s personality like?

Then, she started a conversation with Money, attempting to gain clarity and unlock some secrets.

1. What kinds of things does Money have to say?
2. What does Money need to be happy?
3. What can be done to strengthen her relationship with Money?

This brought my friend powerful “AHA!” moments and the opportunity to identify and address some of the self-limiting beliefs that she realized have been with her for a long time. I expect she’ll be having more conversations with Money, getting to know him better and how he can be an ally for her.

This exercise could help tap into values you have about Money, and how that might be affecting your ability to attract and expand the money that flows into your life. It can also help you identify any mental blocks or limiting beliefs that may be holding you back in some areas of your life. Once an issue is brought to light, it’s easier to address and change.

If you are already very successful, you could also benefit by this exercise, as this could help validate your good relationship with Money. It will likely help you to attract more into your life as well.

If you would like to improve your personal relationship with Money, perhaps it’s time for you to take some time to reflect and get to the root of your history with it. Discover what Money “looks” like to you, and set aside time on a regular basis to check in with Money for one-on-one chats. Successful relationships require attention and love. Satisfying relationships expand our hearts and increase our ability to be present and of service to others. Money is an important relationship that could use some tender, loving care.

These posts may also inspire you:

1. Teaching Moment – Working, For Love or Money?
2. The Heart of a Business Lies in our Heart
3. Doula Client Attraction Tip #2 – Identify Your Ideal Client

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When I began paying attention to my self care and search for “life balance” about seven years ago, I was encouraged by my coaches at the time to consider my life balance wheel. By filling in how satisfied or dissatisfied I was with different areas of my life, I could see how skewed and “off balance” I was and what areas I could focus on to, well, get in balance. If you could imagine rolling that wheel, it would be a really rocky ride.

These days, I’ve come to learn that life ebbs and flows depending on what’s going on. Seven years ago, I had a toddler, a pre-schooler, and a fledgling business that had to succeed in order for us to pay the bills. Sure, I learned that extreme self-care was valuable and something I’d neglected having dedicated my life at the time to attachment parenting without a village (support system). In hindsight, I learned that the tidal wave of early parenting was intense, and that it passed me by quick as a flash.

How did I learn to manage the constant changing of tides? I experimented with many different systems of organizing the different areas of my life. I dumped more systems than I kept, or at the very least, took what helped me and left the rest.

I now have a 3rd grader and a new middle schooler (I’m still getting over the shock of that!), and over the last 2-3 years I’ve realized each calendar year has a familiar rhythm. My year begins in late summer at the start of the school year and the arrival of the acorns. There’s a fresh new energy in our home at this time, where I create new plans for my business, get used to the new schedule of shuttling the children to school and dance and sports, and come up with a new strategy for meal planning.

My son’s late November birthday kicks off the holiday season and we relish our family Christmas traditions and the winter break from school. My daughter’s birthday in January is typically the start of the Texas winter, when I start longing eagerly for Spring to begin.

I celebrate the first sighting of the redbud and Mexican plum trees flowering and shortly thereafter realize the Spring craziness will begin, with baseball, dance recitals and the end of school. Then, my beloved kiddos and I have lots of fun throughout the summer, where we hibernate in our own special way.

As I plan my classes and workshops for the next six months, I am reminded even more of how much I depend on this predictable rhythm. I have the most energy for my business during the fall, and it starts to wane from about May through July.

What’s nice about having this knowledge is that I don’t refer to the life balance wheel now, nor do I need to ensure satisfaction in all areas of my life at all times. It’s an unattainable falsehood, this idea of life balance. I never achieved it all the years I strived for it.

However, when I began noticing the rhythm of my life, I began to let myself off the hook more and live in the present more often. I learned when it was time to let go of responsibilities that didn’t fit with my rhythm, and I started prioritizing what mattered easily and without guilt.

Living according the rhythm of life is similar to allowing the growth of new life within us. It’s part surrender, part inner listening. It’s also about allowing more and observing more, and I’ve found it often results in more inspiration, the natural unfolding of new business, and everything seems to just… work.

Do you allow your life’s rhythm to guide you? Share your experiences with us!

These posts may also inspire you:

1. How Balanced are the Various Areas of Your Life?
2. The Heart of a Business Lies in our Heart
3. 5 Ways to Maximize Your Time Working At Home

Son: “Mom, is this check really for $xxx.00?”

Me, glancing up from my laptop: “Yes it is. I get paid to teach childbirth classes.”

Son: “But do you like doing it?”

At this point I stopped and really took a good look at him. I smiled and said, “Yes, I really enjoy it. And I want you to always remember how important it is to love your work.”

And we joked about two of the benefits of doing work you love:

1. You’ll likely pinch yourself every once in a while and say to yourself, “Gee, I can’t believe people are actually PAYING me to do this!”
2. Work will not seem like “work”. The time will fly, and you will enjoy what you’re doing every day.

Sure, there are risks to doing work you love:

1. The income may not be what is necessary to support your expenses.
2. The actual running of a business can put a damper on and take up precious time that you’d rather dedicate to doing the work you love.

It’s funny, though, because I believe and know that with passion, determination and diligence, people become amazingly creative in making things work out. Both my husband and I have done some crazy things in the last ten years to ensure that we get to do the work we love. It’s not always been easy, but so far things have worked out for us, and I also feel our children have received an important education in business ownership, work ethic, and life balance.

Upon thinking about the title “…for Love or Money”, there is abundance that flows from doing work you love, and it can and does include money. So, it doesn’t have to be one or the other. Some of my most rewarding moments from doing birth work have come from volunteering. I’ve found, interestingly enough, that when I’ve poured my heart into my volunteer work, I come home to messages and emails inquiring about paid opportunities. Doing work you love attracts more work you love. The key is in the focus and continual attention to it.

I so appreciate my son reminding me about why I do what I do.

What are your thoughts on this?

These posts may also inspire you:

1. What is Your Relationship with Money Like? (Yes, I Am Going There)
2. 5 Ways to Maximize Your Time Working At Home
3. What’s Working and Not Working For You?

Focus on the unique benefits your customers will experience by hiring you. Sure, you can talk about what everyone else talks about in their marketing materials. However, in order for you to stand out, you want to be sure and highlight the problems and solutions that only you can solve for them.

How do you do that? If you’ve determined your niche (and even if you’re still working on that), you will want to create a clear picture of your prospective clients. Depending on your field, you will be asking different questions. Here are some questions a birth doula or childbirth educator may ask herself:

1. What is their age range?
2. What is their marital status?
3. What is their income level?
4. What is their faith/ethnic background?
5. Is this their first birth?
6. What is their birth philosophy? Do they have one? Does that matter?
7. Where do they plan to have their baby?
8. Is their birth high risk?
9. Does your client have specific needs or desires?

Once you have a  clear picture of who your ideal client is, make a list of problems they have, AND the ways you can solve those problems. Get really creative and draw upon your unique skills. What special gems makes you different from other practitioners in your area?

Finally, look at the solutions you have to offer. What unique benefits will clients experience by working with you? When creating your list, focus on how your solutions will affect them physically, emotionally, mentally and spiritually. The more prospective clients can get a feel for you from your marketing materials, the more likely they will feel a connection with you.

Your prospective clients will likely want to know more about your background and training, but before they consider that, they will want to know how you can help them. In order for you to stand out from the crowd, identify that something special that only you can give, that your clients will really want and benefit from having you on their team.

So what makes you special? Things to consider:

1. Do you do home visits or private sessions/classes?
2. Do you offer additional services, like massage or nutritional counseling, or lactation support?
3. Are you a one stop shop, ie: you provide childbirth education, birth and postpartum doula services, and breastfeeding support?
4. Do you have special partnerships with other practitioners and can offer special discounts for their services if they purchase yours?
5. Do you work in a practice where clients get the benefits of being served by you and your fellow practitioners?

This is just a starting point to get you started. If you are just starting out, you may not have a clear picture of who your ideal client is or what makes you special. The great thing is, you can change your focus as you go along and gain more experience!

For your particular field, what questions have you explored to determine your niche?

These posts may also inspire you:

1. Marketing Basics for The Birth Professional – 6 Strategies
2. Give Thanks To Those Who Have Helped Your Business
3. Should You Include Your Prices On Your Marketing Materials and Website?

Image by adesigna via Flickr

Work-Life Balance. It’s what I encourage both my doula and coaching clients to strive for, but admittedly, I could use some help in that department myself. I love what I do and consider my work my passion. It’s difficult for me at times to create boundaries around my work when I lose myself in it.

However, after having experienced two bouts of illness over the last two months, my body has made it abundantly clear that it is time for me to really walk my talk.

For the home business owner, time management is critical for maintaining peace of mind and peace within your family. It’s important that you be as productive as possible in the time you set aside for work so you can enjoy life more when you’re away from it.

Here are two questions to think about:

Based on your goals and aspirations, how many hours would you like to work each week?

Take into account time needed in your office to work on administrative tasks, time taken for interviews, client visits, workshops and networking. How many births would you like to attend each month, and how much time aside from the birth will be required per client? You should also consider other responsibilities and obligations that you have, as well as the minimum amount of time you’d like to have with your family. Remember there are only 24 hours in a day, and a chunk of that is required for basic self-care like sleeping and eating.

What days of the week and what times of day will be best for you to engage in work activities?

I like to do as much as possible while my kids are at school. I do my best to limit evening activities to one per week, and weekend activities to twice per month. It doesn’t always happen this way, but it helps me to limit myself so I don’t commit to too many activities and overburden my family by being gone too often. What would be ideal for you?

When answering these questions, it really helps to consider your values regarding your self-care and your family. When you are clear about nurturing yourself and your family BEFORE you consider how much time you’ll dedicate to work, it’s easier to say “no” to people and things that call for your attention.

What kind of adjustments to your schedule to help you make the most of your working time?

These posts may also inspire you:

1. Time Management Strategies for Work-Life Balance, Part II
2. 5 Ways to Maximize Your Time Working At Home
3. New Thoughts on Time Management Based on the Numbers 3, 6, and 9